Masters Blind Taste Test

Lin-Sanity… Tebow-Mania… The return of Tiger Woods.  The media once again has jumped at the first sign of a big story and they are going to run with it like a child with a lollipop. 

In the whole “Tiger Woods Is BACK” saga many have forgotten that Rory McIlroy is by far the favorite to win The Masters.  He came close to winning it last year and since then he won his first major and finishes at or near the top of almost every tournament he plays.  His game is solid and if he can keep it out of the trees he will be almost impossible to beat.

That being said, and going on the assumption that the favorite often times doesn’t win, I present to you a blind taste test for who will be Rory’s#1 challenge.  You make the call!

Player A: This player has finished out of the top 15 in only 1 out of his last 8 stroke play tournaments.  6 of those he finished in the top 3.

Player B: This player is top-15 on the PGA Tour in driving accuracy, Top-10 in Scrambling, Top 5 in greens in regulation and is #2 in the entire PGA in scoring average for the young 2012 season.

Player C: This player has not struggled in years at Augusta. He has finished in 6^th or better in each of the last 7 Masters. 

Player D: In this player’s 2012 season he has finished 49^th, 26^th, missed the cut, 43^rd, 24^th, 2^nd and he won once.   And in his past 5 Masters he finished outside the top 20 twice.

There you have it.  Four options to see who will challenge Rory for a green jacket.  Is it player A who is coming into Augusta National hot? Or player B who is showing an all-around solid game tee to green? Player C has history on his side.  And player D…well…isn’t very good.

What if player A, B and C were all the same guy?  What if that guy was non-other than Tiger Woods? That’s right.  Rory should be very scared of that man.  He plays Augusta better than anyone still young enough to swing a club and he is playing better all-around golf than anyone on tour (OTR…Other Than Rory).

The 2012 Masters is shaping up to be the epic match we have all hoped for.  Tiger Woods versus The Next Tiger Woods.  Epic.

Oh yeah, player D.  Phil Mickelson.  My money is on a missed cut this year.

Where are the Parents Here?!

Is it wrong to want to punch an 11-year old kid in the face?  I wouldn’t of course, but Oliver Wahlstrom is really asking for it.

Lil’ Oliver is the hockey wonder-boy who scored an amazing trick shot goal in Mini 1-On-1 between periods of Bruins games.  He flipped the puck onto his stick and whipped it behind his back for a goal.  Pretty cool I guess.

Well, one year later he tried another crazy shot.  This time resting the puck on his blade and slinging it like a lacrosse stick.  Now he’s all over YouTube and the news again.

This brings to light a few questions.

1.       Where is this kids coach?!  

“Alright Oliver. I want you to go out there, forget all the fundamentals we worked on and do something crazy!  Sure it will make scoring harder and possibly lose the event for the team, but man will it look cool.”   Really?!   If I was the coach that kid would have been sat down right then and there and we would have forfeited the match.  Complete lack of sportsmanship and a complete disregard for the game of hockey.

2.        What was the ref watching?

This isn’t the All-Star game where rules go out the window.  There are two teams playing to win and the game needs to be called fairly.  When Oliver brings the puck to his stick he raises it above his shoulders.  Boom! Shot over.  High-Sticking and no goal. 

But no, the ref is just as amazed as everyone else and lets it slide.  Boooooo!

3.        Anybody want to try and be a parent here?

You know this boy told his mom or dad what he was going to do. And he must have practiced it a few hundred times.  Where was the adult saying no. No, that is not the way the game is played.  No, that is not what you should be practicing.  No, you will not pull a stunt like that in a televised event.   Answer…nowhere.

This id represents all that is wrong with youth sports.  It’s about “me”.  My playing time.  My trick shot.  My time to be famous. Me me me me me me me.  

4.       Does anyone care for the other kid playing goalie?

He’s on TV too.  He has a job to do too.  He’s not in on this joke like in All-Star games.  He was left out there, abandoned by the ref, the opposing coach, Oliver, and everyone on the other team.    Here is what I would have done as the parent/coach of the goalie.

“Ok, Billy.  That wasn’t right of him to do that.  It was illegal and classless.  What I want you to do is forget about it and stop the next one.  Shut them up by playing the right way and winning with class.  Oh, and if he tries that again drop your stick and pretend your Clay Mathews and tackle him before he gets a shot off.  Don’t let him get the shot off again.”

It is an insult for this child to be allowed to do what he did.  It is embarrassing that after he did it once the coaches and parents did not pull him aside so it wouldn’t happen again.

This was a failure on every level and I feel bad for the other team, the goalie and everyone involved.

Let this be an example of how we do not want our children acting.

Tim Thomas: The Man in the Arena

Enough Already!  I can’t take it!

We get it.  Tim Thomas didn’t go meet the President.  Very few people would have skipped that opportunity.  He might have bothered his teammates…or maybe he didn’t...who knows, but I beg everyone not associated with the NHL and the Boston Bruins please shut your pandering pie-holes and move on.

Example 1:  Keith Olbermann.

Olbermann has never played hockey.  He’s never been on a hockey team as far as I know.  The closest he’s come to hockey is covering it on ESPN from the sidelines or a studio somewhere in Connecticut.  He may have covered the Miracle on Ice but not with helmet and pads on from the bench.  So get off it.

Keith decided to run his mouth, as he is known and paid to do, about his opinion on the decisions of Tim Thomas.  He started on Twitter insinuating that Thomas was illiterate, saying he was a moron, and referring to those who responded to him in a vulgar way as “Tim Thomas’ America”.  For what?! Doing what Olbermann does every single day of his life?  Saying what he thinks? 

No, actually it’s because Thomas did something Olbermann rarely does and put his feelings into action.

I could go on about how bias and pompous Olbermann is.  He is a glorified talking head that has moved up from being a local talking head, to a sports talking head, and now to a crazed left wing nationally televised talking head.  But there is no greater way to sum it up than the immortal words of Theodore Roosevelt:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Keith Olbermann is that critic.  That man that sits outside the ring watching and judging those who try and fail in their efforts.  If I had a TV program I’d name Keith Olbermann the “Worst Person in the World”.

Example 2:  Deval Patrick

Like Olbermann, Patrick as the Governor of Massachusetts chimed in with his thoughts on Tim Thomas.  And like Olbermann, Patrick lives and works in the political universe.  He does not play for the Bruins and likely has never been in a hockey locker room, but why not throw out his thoughts, right?

Patrick expressed that Thomas not showing up was insulting and rude to the office of the President.  He pointed out, just as Olbermann did, that when his opportunities arose to meet the President and visit the White House he did not refuse over his own political beliefs but viewed it as a compliment and went anyway.

Things I will ignore: 

1.       Ok, so you chose to have views but not act overly dramatic about them….ok, your choice.

2.       Your political feelings we not so strong that you felt an urge to act? No problem.

3.       Would you call that selling out? Ignoring your issues just for the cool opportunity to meet someone famous?

What I will NOT ignore is one glaring fact.  Meathead Olbermann and Dingbat Patrick both work, FULL TIME, as a political pundit and a politician!  Of course they went!  Of course they played nice!  Adolf Hitler could be the President with the Devil himself as VP and both those men would at least show up because if they didn’t Olbermann would never be invited back and therefore he’d lose his ability to get political interviews and information.  And Patrick would never win his next election (and therefore lose his job) if the President said “I don’t like that man.  He blew me off after I invited him to my house.”

So let’s recap:

If Olbermann ditches the White House he loses his political favor, can’t land an interview and gets taken off the air.

If Patrick skips a Presidential visit he gets bashed by the highest office, loses political favor within his party, loses voters and ultimately loses his job.

Tim Thomas skips the White House and he has to deal with dopes like Patrick and Olbermann calling him names, but then he goes back to playing hockey.

Maybe that is what is driving the whole issue here.  Maybe Olbermann, Patrick and the rest of the political world is upset. Not upset at Tim Thomas, but upset that they are part of the problem.  They are part of a government (both sides) that is a fraternity where you can’t act alone. You can’t have a voice.  You have to stay in your line or bad things will happen. 

And maybe that is exactly the issue that lead to Thomas declining his invitation…

Atta Boy Timmy!

Today the majority of the Boston Bruins met with President Obama in the standard champions visit to the White House.  Almost everyone was there, but notably missing was Tim Thomas.

Undoubtedly, Tim will face a bashing from the media, fans, and democrats all over the nation. But none of it will be deserved.

See, maybe this is just a rare case where an athlete understands that his influence on people goes far beyond what he or she does with a ball, puck or stick. Despite what Charles Barkley would like to think, athletes are role models no matter what.   And worst of all, many look at athletes not just as role models on the playing field, but in real life as well.

If Tim Thomas went to the White House he would have no choice but to stand there with President Obama and smile, pose for pictures, and act like the best of friends with Big O.  The problem is, he doesn’t agree with Obama.  He doesn’t like Obama.  He didn’t vote for him and if he had his way he’d be replaced faster than you can say Newt Gingrich.

…Still not getting it?... Ok, let’s enter a parallel universe.

Let’s say you just won the World Series in 2005. You are handed an invitation to the White House to visit President George W. Bush.  The problem is you absolutely hate the man, and like most Americans you have the urge to punch him in the face rather than shake his hand.  Do you go? Could you see yourself smiling with Bushy having a grand ole time for the entire voting nation to see?

Tim Thomas, like many Americans, might not agree with Obama’s actions over the last 4 years and when he casts his ballot he will likely vote for the Not-Obama option, and by doing so he adds his 1 vote to the pile.  Yet, by choosing to sacrifice his personal visit to the White House he has sent a message: “I don’t have to like the President just because he’s in office.  I don’t have to agree with it.  I don’t have to suck it up and smile.  I am a free voice and just like everyone out there I can make my own decisions.” 

I don’t know about everyone, but to me that says more about Tim Thomas as a role model than his Goals Against Average or his playoff record.

…AND ANOTHER THING… why is it Tim Thomas gets grief for skipping the White House visit for his personal views but The White House itself can pick and choose who comes and sees the President (whoever he may be).  Why? Because these visits are absolutely NOTHING but a PR campaign for the current President.

Win a gold Medal? The President calls. Win the National Championship?  “It’s for you. It’s the President.”  Fired your job?  Hello Beer Summit!  These calls don’t happen off the air.  These visits don’t happen behind closed doors.  They don’t turn the cameras off for these sorts of things because they make the President likable and relatable.  These visits translate to votes. So if you don’t want the President to get votes off your success, why go?!

I would estimate based on NCAA Teams, Olympic Athletes, NBA, MLB, NFL, WNBA , NASCAR , etc… there are no fewer than 25 White House visits by sports teams.  That means the President spends almost an entire month just hosting teams.  Sure it only takes a few hours out of his day, but seriously?  The economy blows. The Middle East sorta hates us.  Our Debt is so bad our ratings are dropping world-wide… but let’s make sure I host a bunch of Canadians and Eastern Europeans to the White House so everyone knows I love hockey and hockey fans should vote for me.

This is not a Big O bash.  This is an system issue.  It’s no different for Obama as it was for Bush as it was for Clinton.

But if an athlete wants to make a statement and maybe the statement is stop wasting your time with me and fix this disaster we are in, good for them.

Good for you Timmy…and to everyone in D.:  Back to Work!

New Year's Resolutions for the Boston Sports Fan

Happy New Years.  Time for resolutions!

Eat less junk food?  Maybe.  Drink Less?  Probably not. Watch less sports on TV? Oh heck no!

Allow me to make this easier for you. Below are all the New Year’s Resolutions you, as a Boston sports fan, need in 2012.

1.      1.  Care about the Celtics a little less.

Seriously, we all would have been better off if the lockout canceled the season. The NBA is cramming 66 games into something like 80 days. The Celtics are old and won’t hold up the whole season.  One day you will watch the A-Team demolish the Charlotte Bobcats then 2 days later The Big Ticket and The Truth will be sitting on the bench resting up for the next game.  The problem I have with that is if I paid hundreds of dollars to take my family to a game I don’t care how sore these geezers are. They need to play.  If I wanted to see Marquis Daniels and other schmucks play I’d go get D-League season tickets.   Listen, The Celtics play in the Eastern Conference!  They only need to be a .500 team.  They will half-ass the season, make the playoffs, try and “turn it on” late, and then bomb against a younger, more talented squad. 

Do yourself a favor in 2012.  Boston fans should prepare for the inevitable.  The Celtics are on the verge of returning to irrelevancy like we saw in the 90’s.  Give up now.  Save yourself!

2.      2. Care more about the Bruins!

This one is pretty basic, but people still have not hopped on the Bruins Bandwagon.  The easy reason to love the Bruins was their unexpected, epic run to the Stanley Cup in 2011. Following a winner is simple, but it goes deeper than that.

The B’s did not just wake up in 2011 with the biggest, baddest team in the league.  They didn’t go out and buy the Big 3 which all but assures them a trip to the finals. Tim Thomas was not always the “Golden Boy” of the league. In fact, a few years ago in Europe Timmy almost quit the game all together. Patrice Bergeron, who has been with the B’s since before he could drink, battled and struggled back from very severe concussions that knocked many players out of the sport completely. For that matter the Bruins had to cope with Mark Savard, one of their biggest stars, having his career ended by concussions.  This wasn’t stars finally getting a ring.  It was hard working men, playing like men, and really caring about the team, eachother, and more importantly the city of Boston!

Oh, and when they got back from the Championship summer did they rest on there laurels?  Not so much.  Sure they had a little Superbowl Monday hangover, just like all of us would, but then they worked harder than any other team and rattled off an insane win streak placing them in 1^st place in the East.

This team may not win the Stanley Cup again this year, but you can bet your butt they will lay it on the ice every single game.  It’s time we all care a little more.

3.     3.  Trust Bill Belichick a little more.

The defense is terrible… but the Patriots are winning

They can’t establish a running game.  But they won the AFC East.

We have a backup receiver and a third string running back starting in the secondary.  Yet the New England Patriots are the #1 team in the entire AFC.

Either every other team in the league stinks, or Bill Belichick knows what he is doing.  In 2012 Boston fans need to calm down and realize The Hooded One knows more that we do.

I’d love to explain this further, but only BB knows what is going on.  In Bill I Trust. 

4.    4.   Give The Sox a second Chance.

In 2011 The Red Sox had what most thought was the best starting rotation in baseball.  What’s changed?  Lackey is sitting out, so that’s a plus.  Maybe Bard is a stud starter.  We have Lester, Becket, a finally healthy Bucholtz, a healthy Dice K, and maybe Bard as a #5.  That’s not bad to my eyes. Plus Lester and Beckett are two embarrassed, motivated men who will go out in 2012 to prove they are still studs.  Look for 20 wins out of both of them. Seriously.

Sox have a stud closer, Andrew Bailey, to replace the highly overrated Jonathan Papple-bomb, so even if Bard stays in the pen innings 8 and 9 are locked up.  Color me optimistic.

Then finally look at the stars in the Red Sox lineup and try and say it isn’t top 5 in the league. Ellsbury, Pedroia, Youk, Gonzalez, Big Papi, and Carl Crawford.  Oh yeah, I said it, Carl Crawford!  With high expectations in 2011 he didn’t pan out.  But give the kid a break.  He went from working in a nursing home to being the star surgeon in the ER!  But now pressure is off. There is a new manager in town with more of the spotlight.  The pitchers are in trouble for chicken and beer.  Crawford is story number 3 or 4.  He can just go play baseball.

If there is one thing to fear in 2012 it will be the crash to Earth of Jacoby Ellsbury.  But it’s not all bad.  Is he going to hit 30+ Home Runs and 100+ RBIs again?  No.  Why not?  Because before 2011 he hadn’t even hit 10 HR in a season and his high RBI total was 60. Don’t expect 2011 numbers again, but we will watch him go 15 HR, 75 RBI and get back to stealing bases like an All-Star.  Ellsbury won’t be in the MVP conversation but he will help the Sox win games, and he will make everyone behind him in the lineup better. 

I know we’ve all been scorned, but in 2012 we need to forget what is done and let the Sox win our hearts back, because you can be sure they will try.

So there you have it. 2012 resolutions all done. Wasn’t that easy.

Happy New Year!

Jimmy Rollins?! Really?!

Yesterday before the Red Sox/Phillies game there was an exhibition of the absurd.  One that attracted a crowd to watch something that was simply not possible.  Red Bull Sponsored a contest to see if Jimmy Rollins could beat a world record of the longest batted ball (575 ft) achieved by Babe Ruth back before Home Runs could be measured accurately.

Sorry to be the hater here, but

1.       The Babe's HR never went 575 ft. IN THE AIR!  The measurement was from where the kid found the ball after it came to a stop.

2.       Jimmy Rollins?!  What?!  The dude averages 10-15 HR a season.  Why not bring back Ozzie Smith for a home run derby.  Seriously Red Bull…that was your choice?

3.       Breaking 575 is not possible in Philadelphia.

If you haven’t done so already, do yourself a favor and read The Physics of Baseball.  Yeah, it’s a ton of math, but it’s fun math.

One thing you will learn is that under normal conditions a ball cannot travel more than 545 ft. in the air. That’s based on max bat speed, max pitch speed, and optimal trajectory.  So if somehow Jimmy Rollins were to put together the perfect swing he’d land 30 feet shot of the record.

Sure they doctored the bat and used loaded balls. I know I know.  But remember, it’s Jimmy Rollins!

Tangent: Ok, wait a minute.  Red Bull was trying to break the record held by The Bambino with a loaded, doctored bat?  Let’s say somehow they pulled it off.  Can you really say it’s real?  Babe Ruth, in a game, off live pitching, with a regulation bat versus Jimmy Rollins off a juiced ball and a loaded bat getting soft-toss down the center?   Come on Red Bull!

For argument sake let’s say the juiced bat and balls give Jimmy Rollins the ability to swing the bat with maximum force and that the juiced balls give the effect of a max speed pitch.  So a ball hit perfectly on the ideal trajectory…30 feet short.

So how do you make up those 30 feet?

Simple:  Go to Denver.  Every 1000 ft. elevation adds 7 feet of flight.  And for that matter, if you can get the perfectly hit ball on a 100-degree day in Denver add 8 more feet to the  ball (4 feet for every 10-degrees of air temp.  It was 80-degrees in Philadelphia yesterday).   Voila... 588 Ft.  New Worlds Record!

How about this: The perfect bat speed + the perfect pitch speed = the perfect trajectory + Denver, Colorado + 100-degree heat + a 25 MPH tailwind + a heated ball 20-degrees above normal + the ball being hit down the foul line!  All that would equal a 682 Foot HR!!!!!!!

…Or just next time, Red Bull, don’t have Jimmy Rollins as your batter.

Metta World Peace

It is all too easy to dismiss Ron Artest’s decision to change his name to Metta World Peace.  It’s just a publicity stunt, right?  It’s just Ron Artest trying to be controversial and interesting…right?

It seems like every article written about Artest harkens back to World B. Free.  But that is inaccurate.  And the parallel to Chad Johnson is downright irresponsible.

World B. Free, born Lloyd Bernard Free, changed his name because he wanted to.  His friends and teammates already called him World, so why not make it legal.   So he did.  End of story

Chad Johnson changed his name to Ochocinco out of selfishness.  He wears number 85 and he nicknamed himself Ochocinco years back.  The name change was simply stepping up his own level of arrogance.

Now the lazy sports media looks at Artest and says, “His new name has World in it, and World be free does too.  Bam! There’s my story!”   or “Ron Artest and Chad Johnson are both currently active. It’s like the same thing!”   In-Co-Wrecked

Look at Ron Artest in the last few years.  I’m not talking about the fighting in the stands Rodman-esque behavior of years back.  I’m looking at the dedicated athlete who helped the Lakers beat Boston for a Championship.  I’m looking at the Ron Artest who sold his NBA championship ring to support Mental Health Awareness.  I’m looking at the Ron Artest who was just awarded the 2011 J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award for his off the court actions.

Does this sound like a man who wants to drive self promotion through a name change?

Maybe there are two other comparisons that make more sense.

Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor, Jr and Cassius Clay. Better known as Kareem Abdul-Jabar and Muhammad Ali

Clay changed his name to transcend what he felt was his slave name.  He believed he was given the last name Clay by his ancestor’s masters.  He wanted to step out of that shadow and be his own man.  A man not owned by any masters. 

Alcindor changed his name after converting religions.  Alcindor again was the name given to his family by a slave owner and for personal reasons the change was made to Kareem Abdul-Jabar, meaning “noble, powerful servant”

Ron Artest has chosen the name Metta World Peace.  Metta is Buddhist with definitions ranging from “kindness” to “friendliness” to “benevolence”.   The World Peace part is pretty straight forward. 

It is clear that this proposed name change is one grounded in the same “transcending” attitude of Ali and Abdul-Jabar.  It is a common man with a checkered past changing him name to stand for what he now believes in.  Peace, caring, friendship and world peace.   

Plus, it’s a far more meaningful name change than others in the entertainment and sports culture.

You don’t hear much about Robert Zimmerman, Carlos Ray, Marion Michael Morrison, or Maria Nuñez but when they become Bob Dylan, Chuck Norris, John Wayne, and Mariah Carey the world pays attention.

To lump Artest in with World B. Free and Ochocinco spits in the face of all the good Artest has done in the last few years and puts an unneeded hurdle in his path to being a better person and a better citizen of this planet.