GateGate

Call the investigators!  Call the police! Call the FBI!  I am convinced someone is behind GateGate.

What is GateGate?  GateGate is a scandal few have looked into where writers and journalists all over the world are mysteriously ignoring common sense and the English language in order to use an outdated, incorrect, unoriginal phase;  “Gate”.  Someone is behind this I’m sure of it.

History Lesson:  In the 1970’s Richard Nixon was caught in the “Watergate Scandal”.  He snooped and cheated and ultimately left office never to return to politics again. (If you want to know more, watch the History Channel).  It was called Watergate because his henchmen broke into the DNC Headquarters at the Watergate complex in D.C.  The end.  

And thus started the overuse of the made-up suffix ‘–Gate’ to express it’s a scandal.

SpyGate:  The Patriots filming practices. 

NippleGate:  Most memorable SuperBowl halftime show ever.

SpyGate 2: Josh McDaniels trying to be more like Bill Bellichick to save his job.  Didn’t work.

TripGate: The newest tool-bag move by the New York Jets.

A.)   Gate is not a word.  It’s not a real suffix.  It’s the last part of the name of a building.  It does not mean “scandal” or “controversy”.  There are thousands of other words. Find a real one and use it.  Or if a real word just doesn’t cut it, at least make up an original phrase.  Call is Spy-a-Paloza, or NippleGripple, or TripsyDaisy.  I don’t care.  Let’s just move off the 1970’s lingo and be unique.

B.)    Why is everything a Gate? SpyGate was just a team getting caught cheating.  No scandal, just blatant cheating. NippleGate wasn’t a controversy. It was just an aging star trying to make headlines.  You don’t hear about WhoHawGate every time Britney Spears gets out of a car and flashes her you know what at the cameras.  In fact, why wasn’t the Brett Farve issue named PeckerGate? 

C.)    Richard Nixon is dead.  Let the man rest in peace.  Everytime a lazy journalist names something ‘Whatever-Gate’ people think back to the worst mistake he ever made.  I wouldn’t want that after I pass. No one would.  Let the man sleep and put a stop the GateGate.