NHL Crowd Control

Tonight will be an epic Game 7 battle between the Boston Bruins and the Tampa Bay Lightning… But I want to turn the clock backwards for a moment and address a growing issue in the NHL that blatantly reared its ugly head at the end of Game 6 on Wednesday.

As the game concluded and the final scuffle was broken up, what seemed like small plastic tennis racquets began to fall from the skies above.  Maybe fall is too soft a definition.  It was more like they were flung…launched…hurled!  Worst of all they were thrown AT players on the ice.  Both teams!  I almost lost my mind when the Versus cameras were on David Krejci when one of these giveaways plunked him directly in the head.  Good news was it hit his helmet, but it was an inch or two away from getting him directly in his exposed face. 

Imagine for a minute that Game 7 was played without the man who scored 3 or Boston’s 4 goals the night earlier because some Floridian took hit eye out with a 15 cent giveaway noise-maker.  Seriously.

So what does the NHL do about it?

Well, the only thing that they will address is Nathan Horton allegedly spraying a fan with a water bottle (which is stupid) in defense of his team being peppered by the fans.  Thankfully Horton got away with it because if he compromised his status for Game 7 just to be a tough guy to the recently retired Joe 6-Pack (I assume if Joe 6-Pack is in Florida he is retired…going out on a limb there) all of Boston would personally run him out of town without a second thought about his OT goals in round 1.

The NHL, as usual, does nothing.  Just like the Boston fans continue to throw their yellow towels on the ice after goals the retirees in Florida continue to throw their noise makers at players.  No one will stop it and it’s only going to get worse.

So here is what the NHL needs to do.   Carry-Over Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty!   Baseball games have been forfeited because the team could not control their own fans (See: Dodgers 1995 baseball giveaway night) or in soccer the league makes the team play a few games without any fans at all!  So if Tampa decides to give away projectile gifts they understand they run the risk of starting the next game a man down for 2 minutes.   Seems fair to me.

NHL Rule 75-1 Minor Penalty XXVIX:  Unsportsmanlike Conduct – Supporters

It is the responsibility of the Team and Team Management to ensure the safety of all players, coaches and officials on and off the ice. If items are provided to supporters which have the potential to do injury to players, referees or staff it is the responsibility of the Team to prevent those items from being propelled onto the playing surface.  If, in the eyes of the officials or the NHL, such an effort is not made resulting in potentially dangerous situations, the Team will be assessed a 2 minute minor to be served by any player chosen by the Team.  If the infraction occurs after the completion of the game or in the final 30 seconds of a game in which the result is not in doubt the minor penalty will carry over to the first 2 minutes of the following game.

-Note 1:  If the provided items are not harmful (i.e. towels, soft foam, stuffed toys, etc…) the league will determine if the players, referees or staff are at risk and adjust the penalty accordingly.

-Note 2: Hats will forever be excluded from this infraction in the case of a hat trick.  This is a tradition of hockey that will never be ruled an infraction.

-Note 3:  Also excluded are octopuses in Detroit and toy rats in Florida.

So there it is NHL.  Problem solved.  Your welcome!

Go Bruins!

Busted Posey and his Moron Agent

Last night San Francisco’s catcher Buster Posey was annihilated in a collision at the plate by Florida’s Scott Cousins.  The collision looked brutal and Posey left the game with a leg injury (and likely a concussion to go with it).

In the wake of a superstar catcher going down in this crash, Posey’s agent cried foul and demands the MLB look at rules to protect catchers in these plays at the plate.

Shut…Your…Face!

What is Cousins supposed to do?  It’s the 12^th inning and there is a close play at home.  Posey was blocking the entire plate (as a catcher is trained to do) and Cousins tried to separate the catcher from the ball (as a runner is trained to do!).   

A.      If Posey’s agent doesn’t want him to get run over he should train him to go with a swipe tag instead of blocking the plate.  And while he’s at it he should train him not to block pitches in the dirt.  Those hurt something fierce.  And train him to stand in the far back corner of the batter’s box when he’s at bat.  Sure he’ll barely hit over .200 but he’ll be healthy! 

B.      What should the rule change to?!  All players must slide feet first into home.  Ooooh, then the runner’s going to slam his metal spikes into the catchers legs?  And the runner risks tearing an ACL by sliding as hard as he can into a stationary catcher?... Not a fan of that rule.    Or maybe make runners slide head-first… oh yeah…that’s how Manny Ramirez broke a finger and how Josh Hamilton broke his arm.  That won’t work.     New rule!  If there seems to be a play at the plate, the runner has to stop halfway down the line and will face the catcher in a dance-off.  The second base umpire will be Simon Cowell and Jerry West will be Paula Abdul.   

C.      The runner is the player at most risk!  Posey has shin pads, knee pads, chest pads, and a full face helmet!  Cousins has a one ear-flap helmet that falls off at the slightest impact.  So when the decision is made the run over the catcher I’m not sure Posey was the one who was putting more on the line.

This was a good baseball play all the way around.  Good job of blocking the plate by Posey.  Great play by Cousins to score.  The result was just unfortunate.

I wouldn’t be surprised if when Posey addresses the media he says right away that it was a good, clean baseball play and it was just unfortunate that his spike stuck in the dirt. 

What would be awesome (but not likely) is if Posey continues to say. “I apologize for my agent.  His comments about rule changes is based purely on how my health impacts his wallet.  He hasn’t played baseball since he was cut from the freshman team in high school and wouldn’t know the difference between a catcher’s mitt and a ham sandwich.” 

Stop the Fight against Fighting!

This past Saturday I stood with my head down at the TD Garden during a moment of silence for Derek Boogaard who suddenly died at an age far too young.    I certainly couldn’t help but think of what damage his recent concussion may have done or how it potentially contributed to his early death.  I also couldn’t stop thinking about how Mark Savard might never play again for fear of meeting the same fate.

Bottom line is concussions are killing athletes and the blind-side hits, targeting the head, and reckless play needs to come to an immediate stop.

That being said... When I returned to mu humble abode I flipped on the NHL Network to catch the highlights of the game I just watched (It’s a guy thing).  The meatstick behind the desk was talking about Boogaard and how her got a concussion from a fight with another player.  Dip-stick McGee (or whatever his name is) continued to ask when fighting will be removed from the game and expounded on how unnecessary it is to Hockey.

Shut up!  Seriously?!  I’m not going to go off on why fighting in hockey is as vital as a slap-shot.  About how it’s the way the game has always been played and how it always should be played.  Rather I want to discuss the opinion that the way to eliminate concussions is to eliminate fighting.

Fact: One can get a nasty concussion during a hockey fight.

Fact: One can get a nasty concussion from a blindside hit to the head.

So what’s the difference?  Simple. One does not look at his opponent and say “Hey Alexi, next time I skate by you with my head down pop me in the back on the head with your elbow!” 

Nope…that would be stupid.

But when two players fight they square off, face to face, drop their gloves in agreement that it’s on!  It’s not cheap.  It’s not unfair.  It’s mano y mano battle.  If you punch an unsuspecting player you get suspended.  If you just into another guys fight you get suspended.  If you have anything on your fists when your  fight you get suspended.  There are more rules protecting the fighters than there are a center driving crease. 

So get off it.  Is it tragic that Boogaard is dead?  Yes.  Is it cause for the NHL to take a serious look at concussions? Yes!   Is fighting the reason for most concussions?  Not even close.

Stay focused on eliminating the cheap shot artists of the league (talking to you Matt Cooke) and let the tough guys fight it out if they want.  Boogaard was a fighter and had nothing but respect for his fellow tough guys, and as made clear in the league wide reaction the respect certainly went both ways.

The Patriots (not-so) Crazy Draft Strategy

If I’m Bill Belichick I know two things.  1. That I look awesome in hooded sweatshirts.  and 2. As long as the greatest quarterback on Earth is taking snaps, the Patriots will be fine.  Brady makes everyone better.  So the offense is fine enough that wasting early picks on anyone is silly. 

On defense the team is stacked for the future as well.  With the youngest defense in the league the goal for 2011 and 2012 should be to let them play, improve and keep enough cash on hand to re-sign them all long term.  Other than a few backup corners, linemen or a safety the team can get by with late round picks who the hooded-one can get to over perform as usual.

So, with all that in place, here is the draft strategy for the Patriots in 2011.

Step one is to make nice with Indianapolis, Seattle and Tennessee.   Here’s why.  Brady is signed for the next few years, so high draft picks are really not critical to the Patriots system, and this year we have a ton of them. 

Why those three teams? Because in three or 4 years these teams will all be cellar dwellers.

Colts:  They will have to pay Manning out the butt and won’t have the money to build a great team around him.  Manning will carry them for 3 years, but then, as he inches closer and closer to 40, retirement becomes a true option.  He is not Brett Farve so we’ll see him on te CBS pregame before ESPN is camped out in his yard waiting for his retirement reversal.  When Manning goes the whole RCA dome may crumble around him.  And when that happens they will be a hurting team.

So, Patriots, maybe it’s not the worst idea to talk with the Colts.  That 33^rd pick this year and a 2nd rounder next year might be just enough to get the Colts 2014 2^nd round pick and their #1 pick in 2015.  It could easily be a top 5 guy.

Seahawks:  This one is pretty straight forward.  Seattle stinks.  They don’t have a QB, RB, or anything close to a quality team.  They lucked out last year making the playoffs, and with a 1^st round win they doomed themselves in the 2011 draft.  Pete Carroll is freaking out because what he planned as a 2 year rebuild is now a 4 year rescue project.  What quality QB can they draft down in the late 20’s?  So.  The Pats are sitting at 17 and that could be a yummy little morsel for the girly-man to call New England and ask for some help.  Carroll knows he needs to make an impact now to save his job so he’ll bet the farm.  Our #17 pick to the She-hawks for their 2012 #2 and a 2014 first round.  And because Carroll is an idiot he’ll keep taking WR out of USC and the Seahawks will be the Detroit Lions of the next decade.  The Seahawks picks will be good ones.   

Then there is Tennessee.  This is the gamble of the bunch.  This is another team hurting for some talent, especially at QB.  I’m willing to bet they will get a QB with their 1^st pick this year but then be looking to add some talent at WR.  The Pats have the late 1^st rounder and a decent WR may be in the mix.  So the Pats could offer up the late first round pick and a third rounder next year for a 2013 second rounder and the 2014 1^st round pick.  The new coach will love having extra picks in his first year and will jump at it.  But the new coach has a lot of work to do and the AFC is not a forgiving place to play.  2013 and 2014 could be tough years for Tennessee.

So where does this leave us.

Well, the Patriots will not make a single pick in the first 2 rounds of 2011.  Not a big deal because the 1^st two rounds are full of semi-talented quarterbacks, running backs and attitude issues galore.  What the Patriots are planning for here is the Post-Brady era.  2014 rolls around and Brady has a year, maybe two, before he decides to quit on top.

Are the Patriots doomed?  No sir, 2014 the Pats are sitting on at least three 1^st round picks, and two set up to be pretty good ones.  The Pats can take a chance on a top QB and still build a few more pieces into the mix.   Then, if that QB doesn’t pan out, 2015 drops a couple more 1^st rounders.  Consider the team rebuilt.

I hate thinking about Post-Brady more than anyone, but 3 years from now maybe a new Brady is wrapping up his senior season in Michigan and is just giddy to be drafted by the Patriots, learn under his idol (Tom Brady), and eventually inherit the team for his own.  

2011 has the Patriots in the driver seat with 3 of the 1^st 33 picks.  But Belichick should stop his scheming now.  Now is not the time to stop trading down.  Now is the time to set-up the Post-Brady Dynasty!

Bull Durham and the Red Sox

Every season has a turning point. A deadline trade for Cliff Lee, a Jason Varitek punch to A-Rods grill, and now...a rain out.

"We need a night off just to stop
our losing streak.  We need a
rainout." - Bull Durham

I'm not the first to point out that, like the Durham Bulls, the Red Sox were in the worst slump in recent memory.  The hitters can't hit and the pitchers can't pitch. The Sox lost on the road and then even the Fenway faithful couldn't get them going.

And just as there seemed to be no end in sight...rain out.  And not one of those rain outs where the teams warm up and wait around wondering if its a delay or the real deal.  It was called very early.  Everyone got to sleep in.  The team probably spent some time with friends and family in town.  They had an extra beer or two the night before, and enjoyed a much needed break from ESPN and Boston Media losing their collective minds over the slow start.  Ahhhhhh.  Sweet rest. I would even go as far as to say some may have plopped on the couch and watched Bull Durham for the um-teenth time.

Have you ever worked late for a few weeks in a row on a project.  You get in to the office early.  You stay late.  You stress about making sure everything goes right from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. Then, throughout your restless sleep, you dream about what could go wrong and what people will say.  And after a few weeks of this you are dead.  You need a "mental health day" in the worst way.   You need your own personal rain out.   Then after that day off you get back to business like a new man (or woman of course) and things seem to be more clear and fall into place. 

Tonight the Sox open back up against Toronto.  A day off under their belt. A bounce and flare back in the team's step knowing that things are going to change now! 

As a Red Sox fan I am humored by the parallels of the Bull Durham 'rainout' quote.  But I am more hopeful that another Bull Durham quote will be more fitting a few months from now.

"For one extraordinary June
and July, the Durham Bulls, for
whatever perverse reason, began
playing baseball with joy and
verve and poetry...
After sweeping a July 4
doubleheader, the Durham Bulls
were tied for first." 

Go Sox!

Movies! - Golf

It's Masters Week so this fiasco will kick off with golf films.
This category for me is probably the most cut and dry.  There are 5 great movies and the rest is crap.

The Greatest Golf Movie:
No brainer here.  It's Caddyshack.  The comedy genius of Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and Chevy Chase makes this movie funny from the moment Danny is riding his bike into Bushwood CC to the final explosion.  Possibly my favorite "celebrity" run-in during my life was when I was coaching a baseball camp and I got to talking with a parent.  He told me he was the young caddy with the pitchfork to his neck during the "Dali Llama" scene. Arguably the funniest moment in the movie. 

Runner Up:
This is a tougher choice, but Tin Cup gets my vote (and seeing as I'm the only voter, it wins). Tin Cup has a realistic edge that makes it believable. The likable no name (ahem, Johnny Vegas).  The smarmy prick (ahem, Phil Mickelson).  The risky shot at the end that doesn't work while the prick lays up and settles for 2nd (ahem, 2011 Farmers Insurance Open).
The only unrealistic thing in the movie was Peter Jacobsen actually winning something.

The Best of the Rest:
3.  The Legend of Bagger Vance:   Loved the movie.  Debated whether to put it 2nd, but the fantasy nature of it draws me away.  Plus I wasn't a huge fan of the dude having a heart attack on the golf course to kick everything off.

4. The Greatest Game Ever Played:  The actual story is better than the movie.  It's alot like the movie Ali (I know! That's boxing and we'll get the that later).  The actual story of Rumble in the Jungle and Ali's career is great.  Will Smith's attempt at copying that just doesn't do it justice.   So take Francis Ouimet...  His story is maybe the greatest of all time, but the Disney, dramatic version of it just doesn't compare to the book. In a case like this the movie walks a fine line between doing what is most entertaining and what is most accurate. 

5. Happy Gilmore:  It was tough dropping this to #5 because it's funny as all heck, but all golf comedies will be dwarfed by Caddyshack.  Happy Gilmore comes close, but it's more cartoonish than anything and just can't top the 4 above it. 

6. Dead Solid Perfect: Good Movie, but the book is way funnier.  If you haven't read Dead Solid Perfect or Dan Jenkins other books you're missing out.  He was Rick Reilly before Reilly was around.

The Absolute Worst:
Caddyshack 2:  Seriously? Worst Idea ever. Worst golf movie ever.   I rather watch Big Boi in Who's Your Caddy.  Epic Failure

Movies! - The Preface

I've been putting a lot of thought into sports movies lately.  Which ones are good. Which are total crap. Which ones deserve to be considered the greatest films of all time.

My issue with many of the lists and rankings that are out there is the "selection committee's" bias to a particular sport.  One list I saw had Raging Bull, Ali, Million Dollar Baby and When We Were Kings in the top 10.  Just taking a guess here, but that dude loves his boxing.
Same goes for golf.  Tin Cup is a good flick, but one golf-junkie had it Top 3! 

So instead of a rebuttal list of my own (which would be admittedly baseball heavy) I'm going to go sport by sport.  No debate over whether SlapShot is greater than Caddy Shack.  Two different sports = Two different lists.  Apples and Oranges. 

So please enjoy the forthcoming posts about sports movies and their greatness based only on my opinion.  If your favorite is not on there it's probably because I haven't seen it.