The NBA is in trouble. Serious trouble. The good news is I can fix it.
I’ve thought long and hard about the best way to fix the pro game. I say the pro game because Basketball in general is awesome. It's just the NBA that sucks. Basketball is potentially the best sport in America. Anybody can play at any time. All you need is a ball and a hoop. You can play solo or find a crew and get a pickup game going. Football would like to call itself “America’s Game” and baseball is termed “our national pastime”, but drive down the street and look at the houses. Do you see batting cages and pitching mounds in the driveways? Do you see uprights in the yards? Nope. What youdo see are basketball hoops over garages and at the end of driveways.
I'll stop. I'm starting to get a very James Earl Jones vibe to this rant.
...back to fixing crappy NBA games.
I personally would love to see it go to 4 v. 4 with a running clock and a 4-point line, but that won’t happen in my life. I would settle for less flopping though.
Not just the flopping, but the constant fouls and free throws. Watching an NBA game is like sitting through a middle school field hockey game. A player doesn’t move 4 feet without a ref stopping play. Guys are trying to get to the line 15 – 20 times a game driving to the basket not just looking for the call, but expecting the call.
I half expect TNT to hire James Lipton to host the postgame interviews.
So it’s time to end all this once and for all and get back to playing basketball. And it’s easy:
1. 4 Fouls and you’re done.
This one is actually killing two birds with one stone. Fewer fouls available means cleaner basketball. It also means those dim-wit zebras will hold their whistle every time Kobe or Lebron cries bloody murder when they drive to the tin. It would send the message to go play g-damn basketball and if you really get fouled it’ll be called, but otherwise stop your bitching.
2. Diving
Stop the acting! Soccer does it. So does hockey. If you flop, dive, or exaggerate to the point of embarrassing yourself not just are you going to look like a complete tool, but you’re going to give the other team a couple foul shots. Just like a defensive 3-seconds a flop will cost you a couple shots. So go ahead and try and draw the foul, but if you aren’t touched and crash to the ground like a wounded duck, sorry pal.
3. 3 time outs per half.
Honest to goodness could the game have more commercial breaks. I know we all can’t wait to see Sir Charles tell us about losing weight, but with the breaks at the quarters, halftime break, the multiple TV timeouts then what seems like 400 time outs per team per half... Stop the madness! These are professional athletes. These aren’t college kids who need a reminder of what play was called. These aren’t 12-year olds who need a break for orange slices and water. Every single NBA game you will see teams take time outs strictly to stop the other teams momentum. Well that’s fun isn’t it? Just when things start getting crazy and entertaining…whistle, stop, WeightWatchers commercial, Rizzo and Isles teaser, Craig Sager, and then back to the game. Couple hoops later…TV timeout. Back to the studio, Rescue Me promo, Charles Barkley again, Craig Sager again…click. Don’t care anymore.
Truthfully, I think the game is too flawed to be saved. It’s not basketball anymore. It’s too many teams playing too many games with too many over-paid drama queens, but maybe just a few tweaks and it could be at least a little better. Maybe?
